Blessings Abound

I love to give back and pay it forward.  I've been very blessed in my life with abundance, family, health, friends, freedom, peace and love.  And more.  Sometimes it's easy to take for granted all that I have because I've always had it.  I was born into privilege.  Born into a middle class family in a developed country.  It's what I know, up close and personal.  What I live everyday is in stark contrast with much of what goes on in other parts of the world, in the developing countries.   When my attention is directed towards such places and situations I feel a deep sadness for the suffering and a desire to help, even if just in a small way.  When a friend of mine asked if I would donate some artwork to a fund raising dinner for a group called Kaio I felt so honoured. 

Kaio is an organization that brings aid to very poor regions of India.  "We have a simple, but robust mission: to bring Hope and Restoration to the Poor.  We do that by focusing on community-based efforts including homes for the orphans, employment for the widows, education and food aid.  We see children being rescued and whole villages being transformed."

http://www.kaioindia.org/home.html

 I wasn't sure what to donate to this group.  I wanted it to be relative to the situation, but not overtly.  Something soft, subtle and gently hopeful.  I decided to utilize an approach to faux encaustic that I recently learned in the lovely Laly Mille's online course Layers of Light http://www.lalymille.com/layersoflight-chapter-2-intro   Laly's use of white, and the gentleness of her work speaks to my soul, and I have found her classes to be a delightful addition to my ever growing repertoire of mixed media techniques.  I felt the softness would lend itself well to what I wanted to convey.

Because I work smaller (usually 12"x12" or under) I decided to create a set of three paintings incorporating the well known phrase "Live Laugh Love".  The photographs I used are not mine.  They are the property of Kaio, and I was grateful for permission to use them as they involve the very people whom Kaio serves and their soulfulness speaks volumes to me.  Layer upon layer of collaged papers, paint, gesso, ink, modelling paste, stencils, image transfers and gel medium worked together to create softly neutral backgrounds to host the photographs.  As this is a Christian organization I felt compelled to draw from the Bible verses that spoke to the theme of each piece.  It was a very rewarding process, to create and while doing so 'be with' in spirits these strong and resilient people who were simply not born into privilege.  By honouring my gift and agreeing to donate some art to this wonderful group of world changers I have been blessed many times over in ways no one could even imagine.  Pay it forward.  I tried.  It came back to me again in a different form.  I love how Spirit works.  

Angel Card Swap follow up

This post has been a long time coming.  I suppose I let summer get in my way, and autumn.  I suppose I kinda dropped the ball on this blog.  I suppose.  But that is the past and now is now, and if you were ever at all interested in the outcome of my angel cards for the swap, then here they are.  

And these are some of the beautiful cards I received from some beautiful souls from all over the globe...

On the road again; from fear to freedom

Okay, I didn't fall off the face of the earth.  But I did lose my way, somewhat.   Last spring I jumped into this blog and the idea of sharing my creative journey publicly , full throttle and brimming with enthusiasm, then scared the shit out of myself!  So now I'm in fear mode.  You know the 3 F's...fight, flight or freeze?  Well, I freeze.   A sweet friend recently wrote to me regarding our discussion on my 'dropping the blog ball', and I'd like to share an excerpt with you, 

          "It IS kind of scary, that´s all.  I´m the sort of person who starts something up and dives straight in and does the full thing and then steps back, in fear, and thinks “oh my gosh, what have I done?”  Then I have to live up to the Didi that I created." - Didi Arias

It's that last line that gets me..."I have to live up to the me that I've created."  Yes, I do.  Live up to and grow upwards from.  And I won't do that standing still like a deer in the headlights.  I'm beginning to understand that some of our greatest moments of growth and accomplishment come from moving through the fear we feel, doing it anyway.  And move through we must, because there is no way around. 

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf said, "If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough." Okay, then I'm on the right track.  I have a decision to make (actually, I have quite a few decisions to make) regarding, well, everything.  Do I want to face all my fears head on and allow my creative spark to contribute to my financial abundance once again, and if so, what does that look like now?  Can I even believe in myself enough to publicly blog my journey from fear to freedom?  And why would I do that?  The answer to that, at least, is clear: because there may be one other creative soul out there who might read my ramblings and realize they are not alone, that there are others struggling with fears of fraudulence and failure, of 'not enoughness' and 'not good enough'.  Perhaps if I hold my light high enough it might shine brightly so as to spark others, which in turn will burn me brighter.  And isn't that what we're all about? Helping each other? 

So, yes.  I can believe in myself.  Most of the time.  And I have some lovely friends who believe in me when I can't. They hold that space for me until I'm able to again.  (See, there's that 'helping others' theme).  Through this blog I'll share it all, the good as well as the not-so-good, and also how I work my way through it.  Life seems to be like that, as does art...full and rich and inspired, then waning to small, quiet and slow.  Waves of emotion and experiences, joyous and sorrowful and joyous.  We have to live it all so I might well document it all.  Besides, I personally appreciate when someone can openly admit to being vulnerable, especially those I admire.  Gives me permission to be cracked and fragile at times too. 

Etsy Opening!

Greetings and hello!  I'm really pumped right now!  I have pushed past almost a year of procrastinating and set up an Etsy shop!  I have been considering, pondering, planning and running from the idea of perhaps selling some prints online for the better part of a year.  Funny how one can desire to do something so strongly and yet drag their feet to begin.  I believe procrastination is primarily fear-based.  What if no one visits my shop?  What if they do and nothing sells?  What if I invest in a printer and supplies, put my time and heart on the line and nothing happens?  What if I fail epically?  Ah, but what if I succeed?  What if I generate enough income from sales to cover the cost of all those wonderful art supplies I can't resist buying?  What if I can finally get my art and soul 'out there', sharing with others what brings me so much joy?  I have to try.

So, I've put on my big girl undies, purchased a printer that will produce archival quality prints (and over-sized to boot!), figured out how to use it, and started listing some of my favourite pieces onto my brand new online shop.  Since Etsy is changing their look April 5 I've chosen that date as my 'grand opening'.  The linky-thing to the right of this page is active, and you can go have a look around, but tomorrow I'm cutting the ribbon, so-to-speak.

Opening day specials!  All week I will provide free shipping within Canada and the continental US.  Also, my first 5 customers will receive a free print when they purchase one or more items from my shop (this special will run for the month of April in case it takes that long to make a sale...or 5).

So, there you have it!  Short and sweet as I have to dash back to Etsy and make sure all is ready to go!  I hope to see you there.

Angels and Card Swaps

Sometimes it feels like so much happens all at once.  Nothing unmanageable, and it's all certainly exciting, but I find I have much to do and little time to write. Back to focusing on 'balance'.  

   I have been taking KRR Spirit Wings online mixed media course.  It runs for 6 months, with a new angel each month; equal parts soul excavation and art making.  If ever you are looking for a gentle way to dig deep into your dreams and lay to rest the inevitable fears that tag along, this might be the class for you.  There is a private FB group set up for all students as well.  I've met so many talented and warm-hearted women through this group.  So very supportive and encouraging, we've bonded into a tribe of our own, with arms wide open for newer classmates just joining.  It's a lovely community and full of fun.

   One of the off-shoots of this group is a card swap.  Started by my dear Soul Sister Liz http://lizzieloumixedmedia.jimdo.com/  There are 23 of us all working on postcard size pieces of angel art, each creating 22 images which we will send to Liz, who has undertaken the task of receiving, sorting, and sending them back out again.  Each participant will get 22 cards back, one from each woman in the group.  Twenty two little pieces of wonder and joy from women around the globe!  How awesome is that!  

   I am presently in the production phase of this project.  Twenty two little pieces is still going to be time-consuming, and we do have a deadline for mid-May, so I'm getting started now so I can play away at them in whatever spare time I can find each day.  Oh they are so much fun!  Here's a bit of the process...

First I taped 6 cards together at the back with painter's masking tape.  I made 4 of 6 to give me 24 cards in total (need to keep one or two for myself ;p). After taping, I turned them over and gessoed the fronts and added some patterned tissue as a base.  On top of that I smeared and smooshed paint over it all,  four different colours to add more variation.

More paint, this time with varying texture tools (technical stuff like bubble wrap and meat tray bottoms) as well as a script stamp here and there.

The painter's tape peeled off nicely and I was left with 24 individual cards with similar yet unique designs.

Since these are stemming from our Spirit Wings course I am giving each card some sort of angel.  I quickly sketched out a face and hair style onto each one, then added gesso to the face areas so I could work on them more clearly. 

I added basic skin tones and a hair doo to them.  And this is where 'mass production' ends.  Now I will spend time with each one individually, finding her facial expression and gentle message, as well as some finishing touches.  This will be the more time-consuming part, and I am going to love every second I get to spend on it!  I will be sure to post the finished products, so stay tuned...

Word of the year

   Do you do that?  Choose a word in December or early January that signifies what you want to bring into your life, or focus on in the year ahead?  I started doing it a few years back rather than making a 'resolution'.  For me, resolutions are too specific.  And in my optimistic enthusiasm I have often come up with grandiose promises to myself that are not sustainable or attainable.  A single word is better.  It transcends one objective (like, "I will exercise every day") and instead encompasses  an attitude that I can enlist to help me with all my endeavours for the year. 

   Last year my word was 'balance'.  I needed to find a way to give equal attention to all the important people and activities in my life.  Although I did learn much about time management and I evened things out substantially, I'm keeping 'balance' in mind again as I move through this year.  I think I will always strive for balance, but the constant conscious practise of it makes me more proficient at maintaining it.

   This year, after much thought and consideration, I realized my word was going to be 'clarity'.  Of course it was; what else could it possibly be?  Ever since I decided to release myself from making art following someone else's directions and return to my own creative dreams I have wandered aimlessly through a world of possibility.  Bumping into one idea and getting so excited I overwhelm myself and run away, only to run into another idea equally as wonderful, and scary.  Over and over again until I tire myself out with discouragement and self doubt.  

   Ellen Johnson Sirleaf wrote, "The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them.  If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough."  Okay, mine are scary.  I got that right.  Now I just need to learn to embrace the fear and move forward.  And to do that I need to be clear about what it is I really want.  

   In my experience, the Universe has always proven Itself to be benevolent and abundant.  I set my mind to something, and 'poof!' there it is.  A few days, or maybe several years later, it manifests into my life.  I could say that my life has been one serendipitous event after another, and I have the Law of Attraction to thank for that.  Even if I don't always consciously use it to my full advantage, and I let my doubts drive the bus far too often, that Law is still at work.  For positive or negative, it is a serious work horse. 

   One thing I do understand about utilizing this intrinsic phenomenon of manifestation, is that you have to know what you want.  I can't recall where I heard this analogy (I'll find it as soon as I stop looking for it, then I'll post the answer because I think it's probably in a really good book, like maybe Elizabeth Gilbert's "Big Magic," http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/ which is a really really good read anyway even if it turns out not to be the source).  Sorry.   I heard (or read) this analogy about being in a restaurant and not being able to make a choice off the menu; the kitchen, then, is not able to bring you a meal because it doesn't know what to make for you.  Same thing with 'placing an order' with the Universe.  It would love to give you exactly what you want, but it can't if you don't know what that is.

   That brings me back around to my word of the year: clarity.  This year I am going to get clear about where I want to go, creatively speaking.  I have choices to ponder and decide on.  I'm not certain yet what path I'll take, but I'm going to start down the road of intention.  That's my journey this year, and the reason I started this blog - it's somewhere to keep a record of it.  And to do so publicly might help keep me accountable.  I have trouble, it seems, being accountable to just myself at this point;  I can sneak away from a decision and no one needs to know.  Not anymore.  Even if just one person reads this blog and takes an interest, that's one person more than myself to answer to.  And one is enough.   So, pulling on my big girl panties, off I go...courageously towards clarity.

 

Twitter-pated

   Remember Bambi? The spring scene where all the animals are falling goofy-in-love and Thumper says in his cutest of cute voices, "They're twitterpated!"  That's not what this post is about.  I just love the word.  However,  I am rather enamoured by Twitter at the moment.  

   

   Lately I have found myself to be on an excellerated learning curve, technologically speaking.  Starting a blog, tentatively speculating on opening an Etsy shop, and now Twitter.  

   The blog is coming along.  Esty I think I can figure out...once I move through my fear.  Twitter, well that's a whole other can of beans.  For an application that is limited to a 140 word count, it sure comes with a lot of confuddlement.  At least for me.  Luckily, I have found this guy (Michael Hyatt) to help get me started.  

   I have the Twitter Art Exhibit  to thank for pushing me off the Twitter cliff, so-to-speak.  Twitter Art Exhibit: NYC "is an international exhibition of original postcard art benefitting Foster Pride's 'Handmade' Program in which young women in foster care learn to create and market a unique line of goods...." How awesome is that!  An art exhibition and contributing to a good cause.  You have to have a Twitter account to register, so I'm doing it! 

(This is the 6th exhibit of postcards for charity and will run March 31- April 21 at the Trygve Lie Gallery in New York, NY.) 

    I also have my friend and tribal sister, Liz to thank for sending me the details of the show. 

   So, thank you both for the experience!  Here is my contribution.  A bit of found poetry collage, entitled Particles of Light.  And you can find me on Twitter @dLorenPrince

A Journey Begins

   Wow.  I thought the proverbial 'blank page' was intimidating; a 'blank blog' is possitively daunting.  Where does one start?  I'm going with why I am starting a blog.  That makes most sense to me...I get it all sorted out right off the bat, and you, my friend, can better decide if you want to follow along the journey.

   That is what this is all about: a journey.  Like every other human being on the planet, my life is a journey.  Well, really it is a whole bunch of journeys all vying for my time and attention (motherhood, wife hood, bookkeeper who is mathematically challenged, new job starter possibly student we'll see, disorderly trying like heck to become organized, and perfectionistic illustrator learning to be a creative artist).  It is for this last adventure that I am starting this blog, or online journal as it were.  

   I love making things.  Always have.  As a child, I was consolable with play dough, or crayons, or glueing things down in lovely patterns.  I was a bit of a perfectionist, however, and somewhat talented at drawing what I saw or remembered; as I grew, that set the standard of expectation for myself as well as others.  I wasn't really 'allowed' to just make a blissful mess just for the joy of it and mistakes were not an option (okay, that was more me than anyone else).  I began to call art my 'cursed blessing' because it provided me absolute euphoria in the moment of creating, but afterward, when I would look upon my creation I would suffer personal torment over every perceived flaw and error in execution.  That doesn't sound like much fun, and it wasn't.  As a matter of fact, early in my adult years I actually stopped making art for a while.  I'm not sure how long, maybe a year or so.  That barren time was even worse than my constant cruel criticism and I could not help but return to art.  I approached it differently than I'd left it though.

   I made a bargain with myself... I was allowed to draw/paint again provided I did if for the process of creating rather than the outcome.  Also, if I insisted on critiquing my work (that is how we grow as artists, after all) I had to do it more kindly and objectively: for every 'flaw' I noted I had to find something I appreciated as well.  That tempered my inner demon somewhat and I was able to move forward.

   Striving for an objective approach to art boosted my morale and confidence immeasurably, and eventually, via the most synchronistic set of occurances, I ended up working as a freelance illustrator (with a licensing agent and everything)!  My enthusiasm for that lasted nearly 10 years, and then it began to wane.  What had kept my career viable in an ever-changing market was my ability to produce whatever a client needed in just about any style they were looking for, but the sacrifice was was too great.  I could mimic like crazy, but in the process I lost track of my own creative expression.  So much of what I was doing was superficial and disconnected from my heart, and I'd ceased to grow.  I was stagnating.  I longed for a deeper relationship with my art and to give voice to something within me.   So I quit.

   Well, not that abruptly.  More like I allowed myself to vacillate between liberating my creative soul to the vast possibilities of the unknown, and struggling to hold onto what I knew.  It took time.  A few years, to be sure.  Like not wanting to leave a marriage you'd given so much of yourself to even though it was long over.  But eventually I let go.  Last year I formally released my agent and floated off on my own.  I have a 'day job' now, which I like well enough.  It's not the same thrill as seeing my work on home decor and party goods, but it pays well.  And best of all, whatever I create now is for me, not whether it will garner an income or be approved by some faceless committee.  The running joke amongst my family is that I have "quit my career as an illustrator to persue my dream of becoming an artist".  

   And that is what this blog is about.  My journey towards the heartfelt expression of my creative being.  Just for me.  For my heart and soul.